A year ago and today

And so Summer begins.  We have been looking forward to this time for weeks!  I suppose no matter what age we are one year makes a difference.  But at the age of 8 one year is visible... Inside and out, one year has brought her even more into her own person.  She is gathering more information from outside our little family bubble, experimenting with her own sense of humor, and searching for all the things that bring her joy.  It really is a special thing to witness.

Above left and bottom right: Virginia 2016  /  Above right and bottom left:  Tennessee 2017

About the new Golden Year image

Here is an excerpt from the interview the base image below was taken from and then an excerpt from Little Lies, Big Lies by Barbara Shook Hazen.  The interview and image were in the Sept. 2016 issue of Harper's Bazaar.  The photo was taken by Karl Lagerfeld.

Kanye:  Here's something that's contrary to popular belief:  I actually don't like thinking.  I think people think I like to think a lot.  And I don't.  I do not like to think at all.

Laura Brown {Interviewer}: You're an underthinker.

Kanye:  I think about things to put them in a place where I don't have to think about them anymore.  Say if I had a child with a really bad mom, I would have to think more than if I had a child with a good mom.  I'm just doing my homework early.  I told my trainer today, I'm a mix of a 14-year-old high schooler and a 60-year-old guy.  It can never fall into the 30s or the 40s.  It has to be 100 percent 60 or 100 percent 14, no in between.

LB:  Can you please make that into a T-shirt?  Okay, how much do you really sleep?  On socia media you are asleep all the time.

Kim:  He can fall asleep anywhere.

Kanye:  I can sleep.  I love sleep; it's my favorite.

Kim:  He took me to a fashion meeting in Paris once.  I'd never met these people; I was so nervous.  It was the beginning of our relationship, and I didn't know anyone in fashion.  And he passed out at the table.  I'm like, "I'm so sorry, we're jet-lagged."  You don't know the number of times I've had to say that.  I always flat-out lie that he's jet-lagged, even if we've been home for months. [Laughs.] 

{And now the excerpt}  "The next morning, Scott was still thinking about lies--all the different kinds, from small and harmless to HUGE AND HORRIBLE.  Small and harmless were the fish stories Grandpop told.  When he talked about the fish he caught, it was 't-h-a-t big.'  In photographs, it was 'this big.'  Grandpop always winked when he told Scott, "A little exaggeration never hurts --as long as everybody knows."  And everybody knew Grandpop's fish stories were real whoppers."

"In Bed with Kim and Kanye", 2017

"In Bed with Kim and Kanye", 2017

Fame is weird.  Social media is weird.  To me, both of these things shouldn't matter - I think they distract from what does matter.  I get it.  I have sunk into it.  And I know not everyone shares these same principals.  But as a parent to a young girl I often wish neither existed.  My daughter has started to notice advertisements, magazine covers, and what marketing execs want her to see.  Trying to have an open dialogue with her about being confident in her own skin, not worrying about what others think about her, wanting to shield her from body shaming issues that seem to plague most females, explaining the harsh truths of male/female realities... it's a lot.  And as a parent the when to discuss these things and to impart the gravity of the reality while not making it feel like such a big deal...well, it's a challenge.  So, it's extra hard when other people's ideas of what is important shape another's and they don't add up to what I am trying to instill.  I don't try to parent other people's children and yet a few choice selfies from Kim and Kanye can consciously or subconsciously bring down my parenting.  It's like that parent at the park I wish wasn't there telling their children this and that polar opposite from what I tell my child.  For example.  There is little control on my end.  I just hope that when she goes picking role models she may look to characters other than the ones that are selected for her; That when she starts to question what's important in her life she remembers hints of discussions with the people in her actual life instead of people who are put into our lives one way or another.  It takes all kinds...  I'm not judging Kim and Kanye.  {Although, maybe I am deluding myself into thinking that.  Ok, yes.  I think I am judging them.  I will admit it.  And I will admit I feel shame doing so.  I don't like thinking that what I hold important is more important than what another holds important but...  c'mon!  Wake up you guys!  So yes, I suppose I am comparing my values to theirs.  And this is my point...  If I don't want to compare myself with others it makes me upset that these people are in our lives to do just that!  It's upsetting.  The control that these things out of my control can have feels detrimental to my success as a mom.}  I'm merely trying to explore the idea of their fame and the impact it has... in this case, on kids and my family.  What are we saying to our kids when we obsess over people who value appearance and "not thinking" over things that are enriching to meaningful, lasting and attainable happiness?  

I just hope that as my daughter ages, she is able to distinguish between what is important and matters and what is someone else's importance...and that those ideas may not line up.  I hope she can see behind smoke and mirrors and "whoppers" and what is true.